There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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