I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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