You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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