i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
