I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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