I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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