you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
