So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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