FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
