i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I didn't notice because vodka
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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