Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
