Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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