How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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