If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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