took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
