Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
