That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
