At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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