Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She bit a glass in half.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
