"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
