Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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