Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
