Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
