And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
