There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
