Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
pray to the hookup gods
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
