They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
