Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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