The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
