how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
