you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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