It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
