I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
