You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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