the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
