Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
