At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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