dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
