Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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