Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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