Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
