Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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