There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
