Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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