Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
