I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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