Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
