If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I met the friendliest cop last night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
