I will die if light touches me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
