So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
