Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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